When Gone Isn't Really Gone
by Sharon10
Summary: Drew Is Alive But Nora's Presumed Dead After A Fight With Georgie. When Bo Refuses To Believe That His Wife Is Gone, Is He Loosing His Mind--- Or More Connected To Nora Then Anyone Realizes. BoNora AU
1. Prologue

A/N: In This Story, Bo And Nora Have A Daughter But No Matthew. This Takes Place Right After The Georgie Fiasco. Drew Is Alive But Nora Is Now Missing And Presumed Dead.

**When Gone isn't really gone- Prologue**

Bo: "You don't understand. Everything that was good in me was because of her. How can you possibly stand here and tell me you understand when you can't even begin to know what it's like to hold her? Was she in pain? Please God… tell me she wasn't… Tell me when she took her last breath it wasn't in agony. I can't bear to think of her lying all alone struggling to hold on to life when every breath hurts. I just can't do it."

Drew: "Nobody's asking you to forget Dad. Nobody's even asking you to be ok. I know how much you loved her. It's going to take some time."

Bo: "Time? You think this is going to get better? How many second chances does one person get? How can I possibly get over something when I can't even understand it? Why? For God's sake Drew… Why couldn't it have been me?"

There was a brief pause as Drew looked up at his father, obviously concerned.

Bo: "You want to dredge all this up. You want to give her a memorial. You go right ahead. But you can count me out. "

Drew: "Don't you want to give her the kind of goodbye she deserves? Don't you want to give people the chance to respect her memory?"

Bo: "I refuse to say goodbye to the woman who held my heart in the palm of her hands. I won't do it Drew. And I'm not going to feel differently tomorrow or the next day, or even months from now. If I hold a memorial then that means I'm accepting what I still feel is a lie. How can she be gone Drew? How can I ever accept that I'll never see her again? Never touch her... Never feel her...

Drew: I don't know Dad. I don't. But one thing I do know is that you need to find a way to let go of this. It's going to eat you alive.

Bo: How do you expect me to do that Drew? That woman filled up half of my life... she was the center of my world... and now that she's not here, I feel like I'm loosing part of myself. I mean, I wake up in the morning, I make myself coffee, and I make myself take care of our daughter... but its not living Drew. She needs her mother and I need my wife.

Pause

Bo: It kills me to think that she went out of this world thinking I didn't love her. And if she's gone then I have to accept the fact that she was murdered. And that means she suffered.

Drew: You really don't think this was an accident?

Bo: IF she was killed, it was because Georgie murdered her in cold blood. But I refuse to accept that she's gone Drew and if you're going to keep insisting that she is then I don't want you here.

Drew: There was evidence Dad... You just don't want to see it.

Bo: "A wedding band. You call that evidence? You give me a body and I'll believe it. Until then, I do NOT believe anything. I don't feel it ok. I don't feel like she's gone. And I'll never give up on her. If she's out there somewhere, needing me then I'll find her. I still feel like she's here with me.

After Drew left, Bo picked up the photo of his wife and ran his hands across her photo. There had to be more to it he thought. She just couldn't be gone.

Bo: I don't know where you are Red... But I hope you're not in pain. If you can hear anything that I say, then hear this. I love you. I really, really love you and I need you to come back to me so I can explain everything that went down with Georgie. And so you can understand that there will never be anyone else for me. You are my shining star baby. Please hear me.

TBC


	2. Chapter 1

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 1**

Bo walked into the bedroom and breathed in her scent. The tears he had tried to keep from falling now fell like rain. He picked up the nightgown she was wearing the last time he saw her... the last time they had been together... and he held it in his hands like a lifeline. When he heard the phone ring, he just let it ring. Suddenly her voice came on and he paused.

"Hi, you've reached, Nora and Bo. Leave a message and we'll call you back."

He got up off the bed and replayed the message over and over again.

Bo: Why did you have to go away? I need you.

When he heard the faint sounds of their daughter's cries, he forced himself to go into the nursery. He picked her up and held her in his arms as he sat down on the rocking chair. When his eyes met the family photo they had taken only months before, he nearly lost it.

Bo: Hey princess. You miss your mommy? So do I angel... so do I...

After he put her down to sleep, he decided to call Mary Anne and go for a walk. Every place he went, he ran into a memory of her. God how he wished he could hold her.

He seemed to go around in circles, never really reaching any clear destination. Somehow he wound up at her office. It was late so nobody was really around and he let himself in. It was funny how he could still see her sitting just three feet away. Her laughter. Her smile. Those little things that always made her so unique and special… things that made her just plain Nora… his wife… his lover… the mother of his little girl…the love of his life…

He got up and walked over to her desk and sat down. He looked at the pictures she kept sitting on the desk. One of Rachel… one of their daughter… and one of them. He seemed to focus on that one…. A picture taken in happier times. He ran his fingers across her face.

Bo: I miss you baby. I hope that wherever you are you know how much I love you.

When he started going through her things, he found the bag that they had found at the accident site. The bag that nobody wanted to give him… a bag that included her personal belongings. He took out her scarf and held it close to him.

Bo: Oh God I can still feel you. It's like you're here with me.

He couldn't stop the tears that had now fallen from his face.

Bo: Nora please… If you can hear me then please come back to me. I can't make it without you. You're my heart. Don't you get that you've always been my heart? How can I spend the rest of my life without you? I can't even make it through one night?

When he looked up this time, he saw Rachel standing in front of him. She kneeled down and helped him up off the floor.

Rachel: I thought I might find you here.

Bo: If you want to convince me to hold a memorial then you're wasting your time. I can't do this Rach.

Rachel (Taking his face in her hands): You're going to be ok Bo. I know it seems impossible right now but you will. God… I miss her too. She was my mom. She was such a big part of my life and my heart. How can she be gone?

Bo: I don't feel it Rachel. How am I supposed to accept it if I don't feel it?

Rachel: You really did love her didn't you?

Bo: More then anyone or anything. I just feel so lost Rachel.

Rachel: Why don't you let me take you home?

Bo: Don't you understand Rachel? I don't want to go home and remember that she's gone. The agony of how much I miss her is strangling me. If I go home, I'm going to go insane.

Rachel: No you won't. I'll take care of you. Come on.

She helped him out of the office and to her car as they drove towards the house. It was going to be the longest night of either of their lives.

TBC


	3. Chapter 2

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 2**

When Rachel and Bo Walked into the house a little while later, he could smell the scent of her perfume and nearly lost it. He walked right over to the mantle and picked up their picture. He ran his fingers across her face.

Bo: How can this be right Rachel? She never did anything to hurt anyone. How can we be thinking about laying her to rest now? It doesn't make sense.

Rachel: Nobody ever said that life was fair. Don't you think I Miss her too? My God Bo, she was my mother and I can't even begin to think of what my life will be like without her… but…

Bo: No. No don't say it. I can't even think of her as gone. If she's really dead then how come I still feel her with me?

Rachel: You love her. Maybe you just don't want to let go of that. I wouldn't be able to blame you for that. I wish I had your hope. I really do.

Bo: You don't understand. Nobody understands. Nora and I are connected. We've always had that cosmic connection Rachel. If she was dead then I would feel it… the same way I feel it when she's in pain. That's what you don't get? I knew she was in trouble… I felt it right down to my bones… and I ached for her… but I don't feel the loss Rachel. If she was really gone then I KNOW I would feel it. I'm just afraid that she's out there somewhere in pain and no one is going to find her because we're all convinced that she's dead. I won't do that to her. If I have to search for the rest of my life then I'll do it. I'm not giving up on her. She never did it to me.

Rachel: Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds? Bo, there's evidence. We found a body. What kind of life will your little girl have if her father spends the rest of his life searching for a ghost? What kind of life will YOU have?

Bo: Don't you understand that she IS my life. Everything I am is because of her. (Pause) Rachel, I'm not going to stop you from grieving for her… or holding a memorial… if that's what you think you need to do…

Rachel (Pausing): Maybe you should talk to someone. They might be able to help you with your grief. I'm really worried about you.

She didn't say anything as she walked up to him and kissed his forehead.

Rachel: I love you Uncle Bo. Please call me if you need anything… day or night.

Bo: you too kid.

She looked at him one more time before walking out the door. Bo Just smiled at her.

He just stood at the mantle staring at all the pictures before he eventually went to the phone. He dialed her cell phone number just to hear her voice. He knew it would go to voice mail and before he could stop himself he was leaving a message.

Bo: Sweetheart, please call me. I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now but I need to know that you're ok. I know we have a lot to talk about but please come home. I love you so much… and Nora if you believe anything I tell you believe that what you think is true about me and Georgie is a flat out lie. If you come home, I'll prove it to you… Please baby… just call me…I love you.

Click…

He didn't know how much of the message was cut off but he hung up the phone and pressed redial. He didn't leave a message this time but he needed to hear her voice again.

He could feel his own tears coming when he heard his little girl's cries. He went up to the nursery and took his daughter in his arms. He sat in the rocking chair and sang to her. When he stopped, he could see her smiling at him.

Bo: What is it angel? You miss your momma? So Do I… (He kissed her tiny forehead) She barely got a chance to be your momma but she loved you so much. (Pause) I know I can't even begin to do her justice but how would you like to hear a little story about your momma? Yeah? Ok… Well let me start by telling you that she was and continues to be the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen…And for some reason she found a guy like me worth the effort. I didn't make it easy for her but your mother was the most amazing person I'd ever known. Once she gave you her heart and her trust then you had it for life. To this day I still don't know why she gave them to me. All I ever did was hurt her.

TBC


	4. Chapter 3

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 3**

Viki stared at a picture of Nora from years before—a picture taken in happier times. She couldn't stop the tear from trickling down her face as she remembered all that had been taken from everyone who loved her. And she hoped that in her last moments, she didn't suffer. She couldn't bear the thought of knowing that her best friend had been brutally murdered when she hadn't done anything to hurt_ anyone_. It was then that she turned around and saw Rachel standing in front of her—and it was as if she was staring into the eyes of Nora herself. Fighting back tears, she went to hug her.

Viki: you look so much like your mother—your eyes—they're all her.

Rachel: That's what I've been told all my life. And Now--- Viki, I don't understand why she had to be taken. She was the heart of this family. Now I don't know what to do. And Bo—My God I'm so worried about him.

Viki: He loved her so much. I know the evidence points to something else but Rachel she was his whole world… her and destiny. I still can't help but laugh when I think about how she came up with that name.

Rachel: Yeah, it was during the craziest storm of the century. The snow was coming down so hard you couldn't even see out your windows. And my mom just had to go into premature labor during that exact moment.

Viki: Poor Bo. He was so worried wasn't he? She was in so much pain and he couldn't get an ambulance there fast enough. Their little girl ended up being born in the middle of serenity springs. And that was what Nora called fate.

Rachel: Yeah… yeah the first place they shared a real kiss. Their first date. She always said magic happened there and she considered the fact that their daughter was born there destiny. She said she was destined to be born in the same way she was destined to be with Bo so how could they name her anything else?

Viki: That's some story isn't it?

Rachel: A Story for the legends.

Viki(Pausing): I miss her so much sweetheart. Sometimes when I close my eyes I think it was all a bad dream and when I wake up she's going to come in the room and ask me for advice on something. And just the other day I wanted to pick up the phone and call her—invite her over for lunch—a day of shopping—you know, the stuff us girls just can't get enough of? Who am I going to call for all of that now? Who's going to make me laugh so hard I think I'm going to cry? Who's going to be my sounding board?

Rachel: I wish I knew how to get through any of it without her. Mom was just an all around great person—and _everyone_ loved her. How do you survive when you lose the best person you ever knew—and that person just happens to be your mom. I need my mom. I don't know where I'm going without my mom.

And without saying another word, she just pulled her into a hug where they both cried.

* * *

Bo had just finished getting Destiny to nod off with stories of their life together and when he sat in the nursery and watched her sleep, it filled him with an incredible sense of loss because Nora wasn't there to help him—Because she wasn't there to fill the room with laughter—because she wasn't there to tell him that everything would be ok.

When he walked down the hallway, he couldn't bring himself to walk back into their bedroom again so he went downstairs and sat on the couch. He just sat frozen in time, not being able to move a muscle. And when he reached down in the sofa, he found the locket she had lost only days before. He had gotten it for her when their daughter was born. There was a picture of Destiny on one side and one of the two of them on the other. And she was a wreck when she lost it a few days ago. He imagined it fell off when they were kissing the last time they were really together. He closed his eyes and dreamed of touching her—of holding her—of making love to her—and for a moment he could almost believe that she was still here. But when he opened his eyes and saw nothing but darkness, he didn't have a clue how he was going to survive the night when all he really wanted was for her to come back to him.

Bo: Nora—Nora Baby, wherever you are—please just give me a sign. I don't know the first thing about learning to breathe without you. I don't know anything about life without you because you were all that was good in me—and if you're gone then it's all my fault—and—and how do I live with that sweetheart? How do I live with the fact that you would still be here if I hadn't tried to protect you from the truth? I'm sorry Nora. I'm sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you. I'm sorry for not loving you enough. Or maybe for loving you too much.

TBC


	5. Chapter 4

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 4**

The next few days seemed to go by in slow motion as Bo struggled to come to terms with Nora's death—and not having much success. The fact that Nora's memorial service was coming up in a few weeks didn't really help matters. He had finally broken down and asked Rachel to hold off for a few weeks so he could have time to accept what he still felt was a lie—but it was a few days later and he still felt the same as he had when they first told him she was gone… completely and utterly lost.

One day he was attempting to go through Nora's closet when he froze in his tracks. He couldn't even pick up the first item of clothing when he could feel himself struggling for breath. That was when Viki came in and helped him back towards the bed and sat with him. Helping him to focus again, Viki helped him to catch his breath again. Afterwards, they just sat in silence before Bo finally spoke to her in a shaky voice.

Bo: you know, sometimes I wish I could have gone with her. And sometimes I just get so mad at her for leaving me—You don't know how many times I've found myself having a conversation with her and then ending up screaming at the top of my lungs – why you'd have to die? Why'd you have to go away and leave me? And then I feel bad for being mad at her for something she had absolutely no control over.

Viki: I've been there myself Bo. I think about her—all of the time. And I find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call her – and then I remember that I can't do that anymore. And I've even found myself cursing God and everyone responsible for taking her away from us. She didn't deserve to die Bo. She didn't deserve to be taken away from her daughters and everyone who loves her. And thinking about that just makes me so damn mad that I could scream. I had no idea that missing her would take up such a big part of my life and if I'M feeling this much agony, I can only imagine what YOU must be going through. If there is ANYTHING I can do for you…

Bo: I don't think there's anything anyone CAN do. She wasn't just a part of my life—she WAS my life. And if it wasn't for Destiny, I'm not sure I'd have the will to survive it. Now I know that I HAVE to find a way to go on. She already lost her mother—I can't let her loose her father too.

He got up from the bed and started to walk towards the door when he suddenly turned around and looked at Viki.

Bo: Do you think you can keep an eye on Destiny for a little while? There's something I have to take care of?

Viki: I would be happy too. You sure you don't need anything else?

Bo: I'll let you know if I do.

After she gives him a hug, he leaves the room and Viki goes into the nursery and watches her god child sleep.

Viki: Oh sweetie… You have no idea how much you were deprived of when your mother was taken from us.

* * *

Bo stepped out of the car when he finally arrived at the accident sight. He knew he probably shouldn't have come back here but he needed to be where she was last seen alive… he needed to know if there was some sort of sign that would help him move on.

Walking through the yellow tape, he could see images in his mind—images he didn't want to see. And there wasn't a single stone left untouched. Everything that was there was considered evidence—and yet—yet she wasn't just somebody's exhibit.

Turning around to face the cop who showed up, he could feel the anger boiling inside him.

Bo: How could you turn this place into Exhibit A? She's not just some damn evidence— And she's more then just a few snapshots used in some high profile case.

Cop: Look commissioner—

Bo: Don't say it. Don't say you understand because you haven't got a clue. You don't know what it's like to hold her. You don't know what it's like to love her so much that you would do anything to keep that smile on her face. And you don't know what it's like to have everything you ever wanted only to loose it in the blink of an eye. So don't stand there and act like this is anything more then business as usual for you because it's NOT.

Cop: Do you really think you should be here right now?

Bo: I have to make sure that there's nothing you guys missed. See I may have lost my whole world but I will NOT let her death be in vain.

TBC


	6. Chapter 5

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 5**

Bo: This whole place makes me sick. The system was SUPPOSED to protect her. Where the hell were you when she NEEDED you? Where the hell were your guards and you're search warrants? What the hell good are they going to do now? She's gone. NOBODY did a damn thing when she was being attacked.

Cop: Look, I know you're upset but…

Bo: What? You didn't know? I TOLD you she was in danger. I begged you to call in every favor you could think of to find her. But you all thought I was being paranoid. You didn't believe me when I told you I could _feel_ her in pain. And the _only_ reason I didn't do it myself is because I couldn't sit around doing nothing. I thought I could cover more ground on foot. I thought she could give me a sign. But it was too late. It was too late to save her. And now I'm supposed to WHAT? Just snap my fingers and forget that she's gone… I can't do that. I can barely get out of bed in the morning. And it takes ALL the energy I've got to get through another day without Nora. But I will NOT sit around and let the department sweep this under the rug. How hard can it be to find a crazy woman?

Cop: We're doing everything we can.

Bo: That's the same excuse you gave me when I asked you to help me find my wife. If you can't stomach it then I'll do it myself. And believe me, she'll be a lot worse off if I find her first.

Bo (Throwing his hands up in disgust): You know what? Forget it. I quit.

Bo walked away from the crime scene and somehow ended up at Nora's office again. For some reason he felt closer to her when he was there. When he finally made it inside, he nearly lost it when he saw what they were doing with the place.

Bo: I don't know who you are but you BETTER back away from Nora's desk. I've had it up to here with people who think they can just erase her from the world and everything will just go on like nothing has changed.

Woman: That's not what I'm trying to do. That's not what ANYONE is trying to do. But this is my office now. I work here.

Bo: That office belongs to my wife and NOBODY is touching it. My God, she hasn't even been gone for a week and you're already trying to replace her. Don't you understand that NOBODY can replace her? NOBODY.

Woman: I can see that you're grieving Mr. Buchanan.

Bo (Pausing): I'm not sure that grieving would accurately describe what I'm feeling. How do you say goodbye to a woman you don't believe is really dead?

TBC


	7. Chapter 6

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 6**

Woman: You think Nora's Still Alive?

Bo: I know It Sounds Crazy. And Lord Knows I've Heard All the So Called Evidence until I'm Blue in the Face.

Woman: But They Found A Body?

Bo: Yeah… A Body That Was Too Decomposed to be able to make a positive ID. I couldn't find ONE Similarity when I looked at that body and yet everyone is so convinced that it HAS to be her. Well I'll tell you what I DO know… Nora Is NOTHING If Not A Fighter. That Body… Whoever she was, she didn't even fight. Why would Nora just give up? That's not who she is. And she would give her last breath fighting to get home to her kids. Forget about Me—I know things weren't going very well at the time—but her daughters—there is NO WAY Nora would leave her daughters without a damn good fight. Her Kids are her whole life.

Hank: So we're you Bo, so we're you. No matter what was going on between you two, she still loved you.

Bo turned around to face Hank as he turned to face the woman standing in front of them.

Hank: Would you mind giving us some time alone?

Woman: Sure, No Problem. (To Bo) for what it's worth, I was never trying to take Nora's place. I was just trying to do my job.

After she walked away, Hank turned to Bo.

Hank: What's She Talking about?

Bo: She's Nora's Replacement.

Hank: WHAT? Boy they don't waste any time do they?

Bo: Well they have a job to do. They don't know her the way we do. (Pause) What are you doing here Hank?

Hank: I heard that you quit.

Bo: If you think you can get me to change my mind then you're wasting your time. The system let Nora down too many times before and THIS time, it killed her. Or at least that's what the world wants to believe.

Hank: Are you saying what I THINK you're saying?

Bo: Look, I don't want to hear how crazy this sounds ok. I KNOW my wife and I KNOW that if she was really dead then I would feel it. Right now the ONLY thing I DO know is that the body they found wasn't Nora's. You and I both know she would have fought. She would have fought tooth and nail to get home to her little girl… and Rachel. Her kids Hank—they were what ALWAYS kept her alive. Why would I believe that she would suddenly STOP fighting now? That's NOT in her character.

Hank: Maybe she was just tired…

Bo: She would NEVER Be TOO Tired To Fight. And Something Just doesn't add up here Hank. You can call me crazy if you want but EVERYTHING inside me says she's still alive. And if she is then I'm going to find her.

Hank: What exactly are you going to do?

Bo: You can Relax Hank. I'm Not Going to leave my little girl without her father when she just lost her mother. But I AM going to do SOMETHING. I'm going to hire a private investigator.

He pauses as he looked at him.

Hank: And what happens if you're wrong Bo?

Bo: Look, I'm not going to push this idea on Rachel anymore if that's what you're getting at. I'll leave everyone alone with their grief. But… But I can't sit back and do NOTHING if there's even the slightest possibility that she's out there somewhere.

Hank: If she's out there then why hasn't she made contact? You and I both know she wouldn't stay away from her kids.

Bo: Maybe she CAN'T make contact. See that's what scares me Hank. What if Nora's in some kind of trouble and_ can't _reach out to let everyone know she's ok? What if she's hurt? What if…

Hank: Ok Buddy, the "what if's" are going to drive you crazy. If you think Nora's still out there then you go right ahead and look for her. You KNOW How I feel about her.

Bo: I _know_ you loved her Hank. _Everyone_ loved her. She just had this incredible capacity for love and forgiveness. And too many times she was hurt because of it.

Hank: Yeah, well she ALWAYS landed on her feet didn't she?

Bo: That's what I'm counting on. And If I EVER needed my gut to be right, this would be the time.

Hank: I'll be praying for you… all of you. Lord knows we could use a miracle.

After Hank walked away, Bo sat down at Nora's desk and stared at the picture staring back at him.

Bo: Ok Nora, It's up to you now. If you're out there, you've got to give me a sign. I love you Red. If you're still alive, I'll go to the ends of the earth to bring you back to me. You have no idea how much I need you. You weren't just a part of my life Baby—you WERE my life. So if you're still here with me, please, please just give me a sign. ANYTHING.

At that precise moment the wind blew in from the window and since it was a particularly hot day in June, Bo took that as a sign and picked up the phone.

Bo: I Have A Job For You.

TBC


	8. Chapter 7

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 7**

About six months have now passed and Bo still hasn't heard any news on Nora. He's been trying to hold on to whatever sliver of hope he still has but the longer the gap goes on with no word, the more he starts to wonder if he just can't accept that she's gone. Every day he wakes up in a cold sweat after dreaming of Nora and every day he realizes she's not with him. His little girl is almost a year now and it kills him to think that Nora has missed so much of her life—and that he still doesn't know what he's doing without her. He does the best he can for their daughter and tells her stories of her mother—but at the end of the day, he's just as lost as he was the day before. And nobody can seem to pull him out of the deep depression he's found himself in.

One day he takes a bouquet of flowers and lays them on the small marble stone. After running his fingers across her name, he can't stop the tears that fall from his face.

Bo: I wish you could see how much our daughter is growing. She has your hair Red. And her spirit—I know she's not even a year yet but she's all you. Sometimes it's as if you're still here because she's so much like you. And that laugh—she's such a happy child. I wish to God I could feel some of that because all I feel is emptiness. Living without you is hell on earth. (Pause) I'm trying Red. I'm trying so hard to move on because I know that's what you would have wanted. But the thing is that it feels so wrong. You shouldn't be here. You should be home with us. And I have no idea how I'm supposed to get through the holidays without you. How the hell am I supposed to do ANY of this without you? You were the heart of this family. Now I'm just broken.

Letting the tears fall, he laid his head down on the gravestone until he could no longer feel anything.

The next day, Drew found him asleep at Nora's Gravesite.

Drew: Dad?

He turned around to face him, no longer able to feel anything but sadness.

Bo: You can relax. I'm not going to do anything. I just wanted to be with Nora.

Drew: Did it help?

Bo: Not particarly. When I woke up, she was still gone. (Pause) Drew, Look, I know you all are just trying to help and believe me I appreciate it. But the thing is that _nobody_ can help me right now. I lost the best woman I ever knew and whether she's really dead like everyone believes or she's just missing… she's gone… and finding a way to come to terms with that is something I have to do on my own. Nobody can help me because nobody understands what it's like to loose your whole world in the blink of an eye… and still not believe that it's really gone. See that's where I'm at Drew—I have this unshakable belief that she's still out there somewhere and I know everyone thinks I'm crazy but I can't seem to let go of that feeling I have in the pit of my stomach.

Drew: It's been six months Dad. Don't you think you would have heard something by now?

Bo: I don't know—maybe. The only thing I DO know is that until I can figure out a way to let go of that hope, I can't say goodbye to her. I love her too much to give up on her… especially when she never did it to me. Even when I deserved it, she never abandoned me…She was still right there fighting for me. I have to believe that wherever she is, she's still fighting to get back to us. And if there's even the slightest chance that she's out there, I'm going to find her.

Drew: Isn't that like trying to find a needle in a haystack?

Bo: That's why I have the PI'S on the case. If there's something to be found, they'll dig it up.

Drew: And if there's not?

Bo: Then I'm right back where I started—lost without Nora.

TBC


	9. Chapter 8

**When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 8**

_Nora: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?_

_Bo: I will if you will._

_Bo: I swear._

_Nora: So help me God._

_Bo: So help me God. I told my father, Asa Buchanan, to stop insulting the woman I love._

_Nora: (hiding a smile) Oh, yes, well, is this woman present here?_

_Bo: Is she ever._

_Nora: Could you point her out to me, please?_

_Bo: with the court's permission, I'll do better than that. (Goes over and kisses her)_

_Nora: Are you positive that this is the woman?_

_Bo: Absolutely. I know by the scent of her hair, by the way that her eyes sparkle; by the way that she feels when I'm holding her against me. Her name is Nora Gannon, and I love everything about her, from her incredibly sharp mind to her incredibly bad eating habits._

_Nora: And there's never a chance that you're mistaken?_

_Bo: Impossible. But I'd like to testify just a little bit more. Not only did she save my life and restore my faith in humanity, she did something even harder than that- she made me happy again. (Kiss)_

_Nora: Case dismissed. (Kiss) Oh, God. I thought men like you were extinct. (He laughs) It's true! That's why I gave up looking and I just crammed my life full of work. I filled my life with so many clouds of legal briefs, too dense to even see how lonely I really was. Then the clouds broke away- there you were. Sunlight looking in. I don't know how I got to be so lucky. Do you love me, Mr. Buchanan?_

_Bo: Uh-huh._

_Nora: I love you. So help me God. (Kiss)_

_Bo: You know, I swear, with you with me, I'm- I'm unbeatable!_

Sitting up in bed, he looked at the clock. It was 3 in the morning. Another dream about Nora…another sleepless night. This time, instead of lying alone in the bed they used to share, he walked to the nursery and watched his daughter sleep.

Bo: You know, I would give just about anything to be able to do that? But then I guess I would miss those dreams… those wonderful dreams about your mother that wake me up in the middle of the night… that also make me terrified to go back to sleep.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Bo: Sleep tight angel. Daddy's going to be right here tonight.

And with that he walked over to the rocking-chair, picked up the blanket and eventually fell asleep again.

_Some things are destined to live another day…_

_Another Dream… Another sleepless Night… another day she's still breathing. _

Blinking back the tears that had started to form in her eyes after she woke up from that dream, she stared at the window. There was nothing but darkness all around her and nothing but a cold chill in the air. She knew that if she was going to survive she had to put herself in another time and she often found escape in her dreams… her husband, her kids, her friends… they all kept her alive.

_Suddenly she heard footsteps. And she knew what was coming. _

She looked up from the bed she was handcuffed to and willed herself to focus. If she could just manage to hold on a little longer then she could find a way out of this. She could find a way back to her family.

When the tray of food was placed in front of her, she sneered at the woman standing in front of her before knocking it to the ground in a fit of Rage.

Georgie: I REALLY Wish You Hadn't Done That

Nora: I Don't Give A Damn WHAT You Want. And you know what? I'm All Out Of pleasantries. Why don't you try this on for size?

She managed to jerk the table enough to knock the vase off until it splattered.

Georgie: Still the fighter huh? You better be careful Nora. One of these days, someone is going to knock that fight right out of you.

Nora: Why don't you give it your best shot?

After she slammed her into the wall as hard as she could, she just looked at her and laughed.

Nora: Would you look at that? I'm still breathing? (Pause) You know what Georgie, You can slam me into a wall and keep me handcuffed to a bed in this Godforsaken Room but you will NEVER Break me. You Will NEVER get me To Stop Fighting to Get Home To my Family.

Georgie: You don't _have_ a family anymore Nora. They all think you're dead. They've all given up on you.

Nora: Oh I don't know about that. I think YOU'RE The One without a Family. Nobody gives a damn about poor, pathetic Gorgie now do they?

Georgie: SHUT UP!!

Nora: Oh what's the matter? Did I Hit a nerve? GOOD. (Pause) You actually THINK you can get anywhere with Bo? He can't stand the sight of you. And even if you could manage to manipulate him into some sort of "Compromising Position" You would NEVER have what you REALLY want. You would NEVER have his Heart.

Georgie: And what makes you SO sure of that?

Nora: I know my husband better then anyone. And I know that when he falls in love, he falls pretty hard, and WHEN he falls in love, it's for keeps. See, you might have convinced him that I'm gone but you CAN'T erase our Feelings. And keeping me here against my will isn't going to change the fact that Bo is MY husband and not yours. But let me ask you something Georgie? If you're SO convinced that you can "Console "Him then what the hell are you still doing here? (She notices the look on Georgie's Face and laughs slightly) Oh that's right… If you go near him, he'll kill you. How does it feel Georgie? How does it feel to know that the man you are fatally attracted to is in love with ME and not you? How does it feel to know that NOTHING you do to me is going to change a damn thing? He's still going to HATE you Georgie. And if you kill me, he's going to hate you even more.

Georgie: You know for someone who's supposed to be so smart you can be pretty stupid sometimes.

Nora: Oh I'm sorry. Did you want me to be afraid of you? Sorry Georgie… I'm NOT your damn Doormat. You can hold me hostage, you can torture me, you can even try to kill me but you will NEVER make me afraid. I'm getting out of here sooner then you think. And when I do, I am going to hunt you down and bring you to justice. NOBODY Keeps me from my family and walks away without a scratch. You're going down Georgie. If it's the LAST thing I EVER do, I am going to make you pay for this.

TBC


	10. Chapter 9

When Gone Isn't Really Gone- Part 9

Georgie looked at Nora with pure venom in her eyes. And Nora looked back at her with a look of absolute satisfaction.

Nora: What's the matter Georgie? You want to hit me again? Go ahead. In case you haven't figured it out, I DON'T go down that easily. And you're going to have to kill me if you want me to keep my mouth shut about everything you've done to me in here. You and I both know you're going to have a bull's-eye on your forehead when I get out of here.

Georgie: What makes you think you're EVER getting out of here?

Nora: You CAN'T keep me in here forever Georgie. You're deluded if you think you can.

Georgie: Oh I don't know about that… I've done a pretty good job so far.

Nora: Except for one small detail you over looked… Bo doesn't believe I'm dead. And if you _can't_ convince him that I'm gone then he's going to spend the rest of his life looking for me. And if he doesn't, I'll find my _own_ way out of this hell hole. Either way, you're going to end up in a lot more trouble then you're worth.

Georgie: And I suppose that was your subtle way of saying that I should let you go?

Nora: If you were _smart_ you would. How do you_ think _the system will react when they find out you held the police Commissioners wife hostage for months while everyone thought she was dead? Do you THINK they'll just let you off with a slap on the wrist? No, see, I think you'll be facing a life sentence if you're lucky. And if by some chance you DO get off, then the Buchanan's will give you their own brand of justice… which as it happens, is a hell of a lot worse then prison time. But hey, you want to shoot yourself in the foot with this ridiculous revenge scheme you go right ahead. I'm made of a lot stronger stuff then you might think.

Georgie: Oh Really? Does that mean you're OK with the fact that there's a new woman taking your place as we speak?

Nora: What's THAT supposed to mean?

Georgie: Why don't you figure it out?

And with that Georgie walked away. Nora slammed herself into the wall a little harder and tried to avoid the tears she knew would be coming. Then she looked at the cuffs on her hands as they became just a little bit looser.

Nora: Ok Nora, you can do this. Just a little bit longer and you'll be home free.

She paused as she looked up at the ceiling. What she would give for a little sunlight. She was dying for some food and a hot bath. She looked down at the empty space on her finger and she wondered what Georgie had done with her wedding ring. What had she meant when she said that someone was taking her place? Was it more lies? Or was Bo really moving on so soon after she disappeared?

Nora: Don't go there Nora. Don't start thinking the worst again. Don't…

Unable to stop herself, she found herself breaking down.

Nora: I don't know if you can hear me Bo… but if by some chance you can feel me then please know that I Love you with everything I am. I don't even know what the truth is anymore. I've heard so many lies and half truths. And I'm stuck in this place where I can't even tell what day it is. I don't know if it's daytime or night because there's no damn windows. I feel like I'm going to come out of my skin here Bo. And the only thing I have left is my love for my family. So please… please don't give up on me… don't stop loving me… don't stop looking for me. I've never needed anything more then to know that I have something to come home to.

And with that she cried herself to sleep, thinking of her husband and kids and dreaming of a place where everything was as it should be.

TBC


	11. Chapter 10

When gone isn't really gone

She wasn't really sure how long she had been stuck in this hell hole but she did know that the more time that went by, the weaker she got. She had been fighting this battle for as long as she could remember and every day her handcuffs got a little looser. But at the rate she was going, that would take entirely too long. She needed to be free… she needed to get back to her husband and children. And she needed to do that before Georgie managed to STEAL everything that was hers.

Nora: If you_ think_ that keeping me locked up like an animal is going to break me, you've got another thing coming. I am NOTHING if not a fighter and I don't give a damn WHAT I have to do to get out of here, but DON'T be stupid enough to think I'm going to roll over and play dead while you go after my family. You want a fight Georgie… well you're damn well going to get one. I will NOT die in this place.

She looked up at the walls that held her. There HAD to be a way out. There was _no way_ that she could be caged in a place that literally had no windows or doors. If there was a way in, there_ had_ to be a way out. And by God she would find it.

* * *

Bo was sitting in the nursery holding his little girl in his arms.

Bo: You know what today is angel? It's your mom's birthday. I was going to take her to this new club I found. It serves the best burgers and they have dancing all night long. And I was just going to… well that's probably not something you want to tell your daughter is it?

He could see her smile a little and he carried her to the dresser where he pulled out a photo album.

Bo: You see that picture? That was when we won a dance contest. That's one thing you need to know about your parents. And when you get older you're going to realize that it's in your blood. We loved to dance. Sometimes we would stay up half the night dancing in the living room and just holding each other. When I close my eyes I can picture her there… dancing in my arms… laying her head on my shoulder… and just basically making me feel so much better. That's what your mom did. She made everything better. I wish to God I could have made things better for her.

Rachel: You tried. I get that now Bo. Whatever I accused you of before I know it's not true.

Bo: How do you know that?

Rachel: Because my mom loved you. Despite everything that happened, she would have forgiven you. She would have given you the chance to explain yourself. And she NEVER would have judged you without knowing all the facts. I did and I'm sorry.

Bo: You have nothing to be sorry for.

He put his daughter in her crib and he and Rachel walked out.

Bo: I know that you were just trying to look out for your mom and I appreciate that. But I need you to understand something. I would NEVER cheat on your mom. I don't care what Georgie wanted. I didn't want her. I didn't touch her.

Rachel: I know. I'm sorry I ever doubted that. It's just that…

Bo: What? What is it Rach?

Rachel: My mom has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've ever known. She doesn't quit on someone she cares about. And she loved you so much. So much that I thought that maybe she wasn't thinking clearly. It's easy to take advantage of someone who gives that much.

Bo: Maybe if I was a different person. But I love her Rach. So much that it suffocates me sometimes. And it scares me to think that maybe my intuition is wrong. (He looks at her) what happens if I wake up one day and that hope that I have is gone? It will be like loosing her all over again.

Rachel: How are we EVER going to get through today? She was the best person I knew. And I know that sounds a little biased but the truth is that she was more then my mother. She was my best friend. I knew that I could ALWAYS call her… day or night… and she would drop everything to come and be with me. She was a better person then I could ever be.

Bo: Me too. She was my best friend too. I don't even know what to do anymore because I didn't just loose my wife, I lost my partner, my best friend and my soul mate. How do I get through those nights when I wake up in a cold sweat because I miss her so much that I think I'm going to loose it?

Rachel: You call ME. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to stay right here for a little while.

Bo: Rachel, you don't have to…

Rachel: I know I don't. But mom would want me to. She'd want me to take care of her husband just like she'd want _you_ to take care of _me_. So what do you say? Why don't we take care of each other for a while? Mom would want that.

Bo: You're right. She would. (Pausing) You want to go spend some time with her today? I was going to go to the park and talk to her stone.

Rachel: I thought you didn't…

Bo: I still don't believe she's dead but on the off chance that she can hear me, I want her to know that I'm thinking of her on her birthday and that we love her.

Rachel: Then I'd love to come with you. She should have both her children there.

He gave her a quick hug and then turned back to her.

Bo: Would you mind keeping an eye on your sister while I take a shower? I don't want to wake her just yet.

Rachel: Go ahead. I'll be just fine.

After Bo disappeared in the bathroom, Rachel looked down on her little sister.

Rachel: I promise that I won't EVER let you forget our mom. She's going to be a part of your life just as she was a part of mine. And THAT'S a promise I plan on keeping.

* * *

She had finally managed to break free of the handcuffs that had chained her to the bed. She looked down at her wrists and it's a wonder that she didn't pass out from the shock of it all. She regained her composure and began to crawl around on the floor until she finally managed to push something in far enough to reveal an opening. The only problem was that it was two stories high and she would probably have to jump in order to get out. She didn't have time to think when she heard Georgie's voice. She just ran. She was standing on the balcony when she approached her.

Georgie: Do you actually think you're going to outsmart me?

Nora: I already did. I found a way out of these stupid cuffs.

Georgie: You might as well just give up. There's no way out Nora.

Nora: you'd like that wouldn't you? (Pause) Sorry to disappoint you, you crazy bitch but I'm through being your little lab rat. You locked me away in this place like an animal for almost a year and it STILL didn't get you ANY closer to my husband did it? What the hell is the point of all of this? Are you punishing him because he wouldn't go to bed with you? Oh gee, I'm sorry, did you forget that he loves ME and not YOU? Well let me remind you that even if he thinks I'm dead, he will NEVER go to bed with trash like you.

Georgie: What makes you so sure that he didn't sleep with me already?

Nora: Because you wouldn't be working so hard to bury me if he had… and because I know Bo. There was no reason for him to cheat on me. We had worked everything out. Yeah we had problems but we were going somewhere. If he was cheating on me I would have known. I would have been able to look him in the eyes and see something there. I never did. All I saw was love. And that's what kills you isn't it? He loved me enough to not be swayed by you. And there are not a lot of men out there that are like that.

Georgie: You think you know everything don't you?

Nora: I know that as hard as you tried to break my spirit you never succeeded. I know that Bo is MY husband and the father of my child and he will NEVER give up looking for me. And I know that as soon as he finds out what you did, you're a dead woman. You think he's going to forgive you for this? You better start praying Georgie… The Buchanan's are lethal when it comes to the people they love.

Georgie: I'm going to ring your neck…

Nora: Sorry Georgie, I'm going home

And with that she jumped off the balcony. She was fortune enough to land right at Bo and Rachel's feet as they were walking by.

Bo: Oh my God… she_ is_ alive?

Rachel: Is she ok?

Bo: She's not breathing. Call 911. I_ won't_ loose her again.

And with that Rachel pulled out her phone and dialed as Bo cradled Nora in his arms.

Bo: I knew you'd come back to me sweetheart.

TBC


End file.
